As with most aspects of a wedding there is an
etiquette to receiving gifts, and these rules are as basic as
the manners we all learn as small children. You are not to ask
for a gift, and you must be sure to say "thank you" when someone
gives you something. Unfortunately, it seems that these basic
principles have been long forgotten when it comes to planning
a wedding. Today many couples are wondering, "how can we get
money as wedding gifts?" It is never appropriate
for a couple to ask for money as a gift. Couples should not "plan" on
getting money or certain gifts. However, one helpful way that
couples can assist their guests with the process of giving is
by using a bridal registry. A bridal registry helps to communicate
what the couple would like to receive. News of where a couple
is registered should be passed along by word of mouth from close
friends and family members, but never included with the wedding
invitation.
The Bridal Registry
The bridal registry is a free service offered
by most department and specialty stores that allows the bride
and groom to generate a list of things they need. The couple
chooses items they would like to receive, and when those gifts
are purchased it is recorded so people can tell what has or has
not been purchased. The advantages are obvious – those
buying the gifts do not have to struggle with what to get, and
the couple does not have to spend a lot of time after the honeymoon
returning duplicates or items not compatible with their home
decor or lifestyle.
Registering should begin as soon as the engagement
is announced. Most couples register at two or more places. The
bride and groom should check around to find the department or
specialty stores that have the patterns and styles of goods they
want. Couples should also consider where most of their guests
would be able to shop when they buy their gifts. Some stores
now provide nationwide registry information through a chain of
store locations or via the Internet.
Both the bride and groom should register; after
all, they are both going to live with the gifts they are given.
The couple should register for as much as possible. Many couples
feel uncomfortable doing this, but they should not. The more
items they register, the easier it will be for guests to shop
for gifts without duplication.
Registering
Registries exist in a variety of places. Most
commonly, people will register at department or specialty stores
for housewares and other home accessories. Hardware, camping
gear and sporting goods have joined the list as non-traditional
registry items. Other unique options include a honeymoon registry
through the couple's travel agent, where guests can give money
toward their honeymoon. Some furniture stores also offer similar
registries.
After shopping around and the decision of where
to register is made, the store's registry department should be
called to find out the best time to go in. Weekend afternoons
and sale days should be avoided, and a minimum of an hour should
be set aside for the excursion. Keep in mind that all decisions
don't have to be made on the first trip. It is very common for
couples to make two to three visits to the store before their
final choices are selected.
Depending on the store, a sales associate may
assist the couple in registering, even setting up place settings
to see how the crystal, china, flatware and linens complement
one another. Other sales associates may simply provide a special
scanner, explain how to operate it and leave the shoppers to
browse and make their selections. Whatever process is used, in
the end a record of items desired will be available to anyone
requesting the couple's registry information. From that point
on, whenever someone buys a gift and indicates that it is for
that couple, the store will mark that item off as purchased.
It is wise to check in with the registry periodically to keep
the list updated with any gifts that are received early.
In the end, couples must remember that use of a
bridal registry will not prevent some duplication nor eliminate
all hassles. Not everyone will shop through a registry, so be
ready to return!
Thank You's
No matter what type of gift is given, a "thank
you" is always necessary. Be sure that as you open all of your
gifts you immediately record what you received and from whom. "Thank
you's" should be sent as soon as possible after the gift
is received, generally within two to three weeks. Even if you
have already thanked someone in person, a handwritten note is
still a must. A thank you note should include mention of what
the gift is, possibly it's usefulness, along with your appreciation
of it. In the case of money, the amount should not be mentioned,
but how you plan to use it may be included. If possible, include
a photograph of you taken with the person who gave the gift,
at your wedding.
Gift Registry
When registering consider these essentials:
What kind of lifestyle do you share as a couple? Think about
the type of food and beverages you will serve most often? Do
you have the patience to hand-wash fine china, flatware and
crystal, or do you want them to be dishwasher safe? Should
they be able to handle use in a microwave? Make the rest of
your registry decisions with these important factors in mind.
What’s your decorating style preference? Country? Modern?
Traditional?
Which colors do you want to surround you in your new home?
If you choose fine china, keep in mind the design or style,
body color, durability/washability, serving pieces, accessories,
manufacturer’s reputation and long-term availability. Keep
these factors in mind for crystal and flatware, too.
Note size and color of sheets, bedding and bathroom linens,
for both everyday and guest use.
If your wedding is intimate, register only for the most important
things on your "want" list. A larger wedding means
that you can expand your registry choices.
Use this gift registry to help you get your thoughts together
before the two of you go to register your gift preferences, then
take this form to your local registries to complete the job.
