The maid (unmarried) or matron (married) of honor
is usually a sister, best friend or roommate whom the bride considers
her closest and most beloved acquaintance.
The maid (or matron) is the bride's "lady-in-waiting" and attends to almost
any details to help the bride. Today, many brides also have a personal attendant
to relieve the maid of honor from many duties she traditionally had performed.
The maid of honor's main duty is to stand by the bride's side to help with
anything she may need.
One of the first responsibilities of the honor
attendant is to plan or help coordinate bridal showers before
the wedding. Some other pre-wedding duties may include helping
the bride choose the attendants'
attire, helping address invitations,
and lending a hand with any other planning details in which the
bride requests assistance.
The maid of honor usually attends all wedding-related
events such as showers, luncheons, the rehearsal dinner, and
gift opening party.
At the ceremony, the maid of honor precedes the
father and bride down the aisle. She holds the ring, and the
bouquet. She's responsible for and folding the bride's veil back
and straightening the train as needed.
The maid of honor usually stands next to the groom in the receiving line. She
is also an official witness to the wedding by signing the marriage certificate.
If a sit-down dinner is held, she will sit on the
groom's left side. During the reception, she attends to any details
to help the bride, such as accompanying her to a washroom to
freshen up and bustling the train of the bride's gown. Some maids
of honor are called upon to give a toast. If a dance is a part
of the festivities, she may be included in special dances and
is expected to dance with the best man and the groom.
The maid of honor's financial obligations usually
include paying for her attire, which may include not only her
dress but chosen shoes, jewelry and other accessories. She will
also contribute to, or cover all of the cost of a shower, along
with buying shower and wedding gifts. The out-of-town honor attendant
should expect to pay all of her own travel expenses including
transportation and lodging.
The Bridesmaids
Being a bridesmaid holds very similar responsibilities
to that of a maid of honor. These attendants are usually also
close friends or family members of the bride or sometimes even
of the groom.
Bridesmaids should be willing to help the bride
with a variety of tasks, including addressing invitations and
helping in any way that the bride may ask.
Like the honor attendant, bridesmaids are often
included in many of the wedding celebrations such as showers,
luncheons, the rehearsal dinner and gift opening party. Often
bridesmaids will lend the honor attendant a hand and help pay
for the cost of a bridal shower.
At the ceremony the bridesmaids lead the procession
down the aisle, and usually return down the aisle after the ceremony
escorted by a groomsman. The bridesmaid standing immediately
next to the maid of honor may find herself holding the bouquet of the honor attendant while she is arranging the brides train
or assisting with the veil, etc. After the ceremony the bridesmaids
traditionally stand in the receiving line next to the maid of
honor.
If a sit-down dinner is held, the bridesmaids sit
in a "boy, girl" pattern with the groomsmen. Throughout
the reception, the bridesmaids should enjoy their time as a guest,
while being mindful of any special "wedding party" dance events
where they will be expected to dance with the groomsmen. The
considerate bridesmaid will stay close by her bride to help the
bride with any minor details, such as getting her water or helping
fix her hair, and cheering the bride along to let her know everything
is going great!
The financial obligations of the bridesmaid is
the same as the maid of honor. She will most likely be paying
for her gown and all that goes with it. A bridesmaid should always
be respectful of the bride's choice in bridesmaids dresses, even
if she doesn't care for it. Although it is very difficult to
pay for a gown and accessories that you may not even like, by
agreeing to be a bridesmaid you have agreed to abide by the bride's
decision. (However, brides should be realistic about what
others can afford. An expensive dress may put a large strain
on
a bridesmaid's
budget – as well as on a friendship.) If asked for your
opinion, be honest, but tactful and kind. Other costs involved
include
showers and
a
wedding
gift.
The Best Man
The best man, usually a best friend, brother, cousin
or even father of the groom, must be willing to help the groom
solve any problem. Organizing the bachelor party is usually his
first responsibility. He must also make sure that the groom arrives
at the wedding site on time, appropriately dressed.
Carrying the bride's ring is an extremely important
task charged to the best man. He will sometimes be responsible
for the marriage license.
The best man usually does not stand in the receiving
line. He signs the marriage certificate as an official witness.
He must be sure that the clergy member receives payment, which
should be placed in a sealed envelope.
At the reception, the best man sits to the bride's
right, the perfect position to execute his duties as official
toastmaster. The clever best man rehearses his toast beforehand,
knowing that a practiced toast is always better than an impromptu
one.
Some best men are asked to gather all rented
clothing from the groom's wedding party and return it on the next business
day to the formal wear store.
The expenses of the best man usually include his
tuxedo rental (and other accessories), some or all of the cost
of the bachelor party, and a wedding gift for the couple. As
with all members of the bridal party, if he is from out-of-town,
he is also responsible for his expenses for travel and lodging.
Groomsmen & Ushers
These friends and relatives of the groom (and sometimes
the bride) have a variety of jobs. Some groomsmen double as ushers,
but often separate individuals serve these roles. Regardless,
the groomsmen and ushers usually do not have as many obligations
as the best man.
They are required to be at the rehearsal, where they can learn the wishes of
the engaged couple and the clergy member. At the rehearsal, they might practice
lighting and extinguishing the candles, should familiarize themselves with
entrance, exit, and bathroom locations for the guests' comfort and learn seating
arrangements.
The groomsmen/ushers should arrive at the wedding
site an hour before the ceremony to get their boutonnieres, ready
the programs, and help with any last-minute details.
If guests of the bride and groom are to be seated in separate sections, the
ushers will need to ascertain the guests' relationship to the couple. Once
this is established, the right arm is usually offered to the lady, who is then
escorted to the open pew closest to the front of the church. The farthest-forward
pews are traditionally reserved for immediate family members.
Last to be ushered in are the mothers of both the groom and bride, respectively.
Then the ushers unroll the aisle runner. They stay in the back of the church
during the ceremony, directing late guests to back or side seats.
Immediately after the ceremony, groomsmen escort
bridesmaids down the aisle. Ushers then escort out the mothers
of the bride and groom, and sometimes direct the departure of
guests in an orderly manner, to insure the receiving line functions
efficiently.
Ushers (sometimes with the help of the groomsmen) decorate the wedding couple's "getaway
car" either before or (for ushers) during the ceremony, or as guests file through
the receiving line. At the reception, the ushers are usually included at the
head table and will often be seated on opposite ends of the table. The rest
of the reception the ushers may consider themselves guests and enjoy!
The groomsmen usually do not stand in the receiving
line, but do sit at the reception table in an alternating pattern
with the bridesmaids. The groomsmen's only obligatory duties
at the reception are to mingle with the guests, give help when
needed, participate in "wedding party" dances and make merry!
The financial obligations of the ushers and groomsmen
include their attire, a wedding gift, and contributions to the
cost of the bachelor party.
Ring Bearer, Flower Girls, Junior Bridesmaids,
Miniature Brides, etc.
Junior attendants are sometimes included in weddings.
The duties of these minor attendants differ from wedding to wedding,
largely depending on the bride and groom's desires and the maturity
and capability of each child.
The Personal Attendant
In recent years, it has become common for the bride
to have a personal attendant. This close friend or relative is
responsible for assisting the bride throughout the day. She may
also relieve the maid/matron of honor of some of her duties at
times when she needs to stay with the wedding party.
It is helpful for the bride to make a list of tasks
for which the personal attendant is responsible, such as: assisting
the bride with getting ready; pinning on flowers; gathering people
for pictures; making sure the wedding party has their belongings
after the ceremony; keeping track of the toss bouquet until it's
needed; making sure gifts are transported to the gift opening
site or the couple's home. The personal attendant often keeps
a bag handy with extra necessities, such as tissues, bobby pins,
needle and thread, scissors, nylons, make-up, etc.
The role of the Personal Attendant can be a very
demanding and fulfilling job. The tense bride needs someone to
make her feel comfortable so she can go down the aisle knowing
all is going well.
Of course, the main duty of the personal attendant
is to help the bride dress, but can also pin on flowers and gather
people for the pictures. The personal attendant's knowledge of
who attendants and family members are is very important. Other
duties may include gathering the wedding party's belongings after
the ceremony, holding the toss bouquet until it's needed, and
making sure gifts are transported to the gift-opening site or
the couple's home.
Generally the personal attendant will help fluff
the bride's train right before she enters the church and walks
down the aisle. Practicing this (along with the maid/matron of
honor) is helpful. The personal attendant also should keep an
eye out for lipstick on teeth, undergarments showing, hair out
of place, and be ready to assist in keeping the bride looking
her best.
The maid (unmarried) or matron (married) of honor
is usually a sister, best friend or roommate whom the bride considers
her closest and most beloved acquaintance. 
Being a bridesmaid holds very similar responsibilities
to that of a maid of honor. These attendants are usually also
close friends or family members of the bride or sometimes even
of the groom. 
These friends and relatives of the groom (and sometimes
the bride) have a variety of jobs. Some groomsmen double as ushers,
but often separate individuals serve these roles. Regardless,
the groomsmen and ushers usually do not have as many obligations
as the best man.
Junior attendants are sometimes included in weddings.
The duties of these minor attendants differ from wedding to wedding,
largely depending on the bride and groom's desires and the maturity
and capability of each child. 